television show idea:
men who relentlessly pursue people with inappropriate messages on ok cupid are forced to read everything they’ve said in front of a live studio audience.
i want a petition for this
slight modification: they have to read them to their mother
HOLY SHIT YES YES YES
it’s also SUCH a reverse victimization thing like
when ~antiracist allies~ say this shit it always includes this sort of faux-self-deprecating element
and intentionally or not, there’s the implication that we white people in general are being ~silenced~ by the ~cruel~ person of color, and that ~oh no we’ve been taught to hate ourselves for our whiteness and believe all these self-deprecating things~ which of course is EXACTLY the white guilt script that more blatantly racist whites looking at this will want to see as more ‘justification’ to dismiss analysis of racism.
and it’s inevitably framing people of color as mean or angry or ~reverse racist~ and ourselves as beleaguered; it’s inevitably fishing for compliments, for coddling, for having the conversation recentered around us and derailing the actual conversation taking place.
I want to get back to this, because I feel it’s tricky using phrases like ‘silenced’ etc. It seems TOO easy to fall into the victimization mindset those who want to KEEP the status quo would hold on to. And way too easy for others who want cookies and pats on the back to NOT listen and SPEAK over others - “I took classes in this, I EARNED the right to speak.” I think there’s a valid reason there’s so much ‘shut up, listen, learn’. And ‘your voice is ALREADY heard’.
I think it makes more sense to say; “learn so you know why and when NOT TO SPEAK when PoC and other Marginal Cultural People are speaking. But learn the history TOO speak, TO YOUR OWN KIND / YOUR OWN FOLK. And then DO that. “
I don’t think that quote is clear enough on the fact that progressivism isn’t lackadaisical. It’s not enough to SAY: “I’m not racist or sexist or queerphobic.” And it’s not enough to just step back, and watch others speak AND take all the flack. The point is TO NOT BE ISMIST. To actively not BE it. To risk discomfort.
In a sense, not risking discomfort is holding on to a different kind of status quo.